I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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