So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
