I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
