Soap is not a condiment
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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