no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
