just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I FOUND THE LEGS
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
