Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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