yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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