Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
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