i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
