well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
