if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
