So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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