I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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