Me too!
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize