RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
