They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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