My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
