he shaved USA in his pubs
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Randomize
