people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
