I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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