there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
