when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
