Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
