After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
she told me i tasted like america
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
