yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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