Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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