I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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