THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
