that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
