Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize