just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
