He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
