i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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