so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
