I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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