worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
