My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
