ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
