i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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