i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
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