Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
