I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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