Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
