Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
