It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Sacagawea was the original milf.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I have post one night stand depression
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