i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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