I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize
