The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
