Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
