just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
