dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
