Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
i think im in europe. pls send help
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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