ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Randomize
