I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
