I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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