Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i just google imaged poop.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
