The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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