unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
