I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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