Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
