I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
