They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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