u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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