Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
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