He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
