Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
are you so shy because you have an std?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize