Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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